MAXINE BILLINGS, Photographer & Author

Fine Art Photography Inspired By Natural Creation & Wholesome Reading For Your Family's Entertainment


Leave a comment

THE OTHER WOMAN

AA COUPLEHello again!  This is my third post in my HELP YOUNG ONES WHO GRIEVE series for this month.  As stated in my previous post, although the gender may at times refer specifically to females, this information also applies to males.  And again, these posts also apply to those who are grieving for other reasons as well.

This post will touch on some of the feelings a young person might have upon learning that a parent is dating again after having lost the other parent due to death.  To make matters worse, not only are they dating but they are also now contemplating marriage–something that is particularly painful coming after the death of your beloved parent.  But in your eyes, whether the time that your deceased parent has been gone is a short or large amount of time, the last thing you want is someone else stepping in to try to fill your mother’s or father’s place.

LAMThese are just a couple of the feelings that Kiara is experiencing in LIFE AFTER MOMMA.  While her father is happy, she is feeling everything but joy!  Without a doubt, this situation can stir up some very painful emotions.  Have you ever noticed what happens when someone pokes at an ant bed with a stick or some other object?  The ants get all riled up and furiously start crawling out of the bed to the surface of the ground.  Why did they do that?  Because someone came along and disrupted their normal, everyday lives.  And if you stay within their path, they will let you have it!

Okay, now, back to you.  You are already feeling sad, lonely, and confused.  Now, your parent has brought this other person into your lives, and your emotions now rise to an even more astronomical level.  Not only are you also feeling insecure, betrayed, and jealous, you are downright mad!  You go out of your way to be nasty to, in this scenario, the other woman, and also to your father.  She has disrupted your already crumbling life further, and your father has allowed her to do so.  You may even try to break them up.

Granted, it is hard enough at times to get along with our own biological family members.  Therefore, it may require a great deal more effort to have a happy stepfamily, but it can be done.  Please click here for HelpGuide’s link to their site for more information regarding step-parenting and blended families.  It also contains other helpful information, such as dealing with the death of a parent.

Something important to remember is that whether our family is a step one or a biological one, we will have problems–but the key to overcoming them is found at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7LOVE.

I love hearing from you.  Please feel free to share your thoughts on this subject and any others in my blog.  Have an awesome day!

From my heart to yours,

Maxine

http://www.maxinebillings.com

(Photo of Man and Woman–Courtesy of Office.com Clip Art)

 


Leave a comment

DEALING WITH A PARENT’S REMARRIAGE

lImage The family is God’s arrangement.  He instituted it in the Garden of Eden when he gave the first woman Eve to the first man Adam (Genesis 2:22-24).   Although  a man and a woman’s union is to last forever, sometimes due to different circumstances, that is not the case.  Therefore, one or both may decide to remarry.  Being part of a stepfamily is all too common nowadays.  Although it can be stressful for the grown-ups involved, it can be especially upsetting for the children.

Being a teenager is one of the happiest and most exciting times of one’s life, but it can also be a time of emotional ups and downs.  And one of the things that can contribute to the low moments is the remarriage of one or both parents.  While some teens may be ecstatic at the thought of having a stepparent, others may feel jealous, betrayed, and insecure.  In LIFE AFTER MOMMA, Kiara feels the latter, and her loyalty to her deceased mother causes her to lash out at her father and his fiancée.  She resolves in her mind and heart that she will never come to like the woman and spends a great deal of time letting both adults know exactly that.  However, in doing so, she vents her emotional pain in some very destructive ways.

Are you part of a stepfamily?  If so, what are some things that can help you to cope, even if you have legitimate grounds for complaint?  First, recognize that your feelings are normal.  Second, remember that no family is perfect.  Third, keep in mind that meaningful, respectful communication is key in any relationship. 

And one last thing–be patient (with yourself and your stepfamily).  In time, the stepfamily you can’t stand today may just be the one you’ll eventually grow to love.

From my heart to yours,

Maxine

http://www.maxinebillings.com