MAXINE BILLINGS, Photographer & Author

Fine Art Photography Inspired By Natural Creation & Wholesome Reading For Your Family's Entertainment


Leave a comment

THE OTHER WOMAN

AA COUPLEHello again!  This is my third post in my HELP YOUNG ONES WHO GRIEVE series for this month.  As stated in my previous post, although the gender may at times refer specifically to females, this information also applies to males.  And again, these posts also apply to those who are grieving for other reasons as well.

This post will touch on some of the feelings a young person might have upon learning that a parent is dating again after having lost the other parent due to death.  To make matters worse, not only are they dating but they are also now contemplating marriage–something that is particularly painful coming after the death of your beloved parent.  But in your eyes, whether the time that your deceased parent has been gone is a short or large amount of time, the last thing you want is someone else stepping in to try to fill your mother’s or father’s place.

LAMThese are just a couple of the feelings that Kiara is experiencing in LIFE AFTER MOMMA.  While her father is happy, she is feeling everything but joy!  Without a doubt, this situation can stir up some very painful emotions.  Have you ever noticed what happens when someone pokes at an ant bed with a stick or some other object?  The ants get all riled up and furiously start crawling out of the bed to the surface of the ground.  Why did they do that?  Because someone came along and disrupted their normal, everyday lives.  And if you stay within their path, they will let you have it!

Okay, now, back to you.  You are already feeling sad, lonely, and confused.  Now, your parent has brought this other person into your lives, and your emotions now rise to an even more astronomical level.  Not only are you also feeling insecure, betrayed, and jealous, you are downright mad!  You go out of your way to be nasty to, in this scenario, the other woman, and also to your father.  She has disrupted your already crumbling life further, and your father has allowed her to do so.  You may even try to break them up.

Granted, it is hard enough at times to get along with our own biological family members.  Therefore, it may require a great deal more effort to have a happy stepfamily, but it can be done.  Please click here for HelpGuide’s link to their site for more information regarding step-parenting and blended families.  It also contains other helpful information, such as dealing with the death of a parent.

Something important to remember is that whether our family is a step one or a biological one, we will have problems–but the key to overcoming them is found at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7LOVE.

I love hearing from you.  Please feel free to share your thoughts on this subject and any others in my blog.  Have an awesome day!

From my heart to yours,

Maxine

http://www.maxinebillings.com

(Photo of Man and Woman–Courtesy of Office.com Clip Art)

 


Leave a comment

HAPPINESS IN A SINGLE-PARENT FAMILY?

FATHER & DAUGHTER

This is my second post in my HELP YOUNG ONES WHO GRIEVE series for this month which focuses on young ones who have lost a parent or both parents to death.  Although the gender may at times refer specifically to females, this information also applies to males.  Additionally, whether the loss is due to death, divorce, or something else, the pain is still there and needs to be addressed.

The desire to have two parents is natural.  After all, when God brought the first human couple together, it was His purpose that they have children and all of them live forever in peace and happiness.  Therefore, needless to say, the ideal situation would be to have both of your parents.  But what can you do when you have no choice in the matter?  Some young people who live in single-parent families feel ashamed of their situation.  Others feel overwhelmed by the pressures and problems of life.  If you live in a single-parent household, what are some of the problems you face?  Why not write down now on a sheet of paper the ones that challenge you the most?

LAMIn LIFE AFTER MOMMA, Kiara is still trying to come to terms with the reality that her mother is gone.  Would you agree that much of how we deal with disappointments in life stems from our view of the situation?  Now, that is not to say that we should not feel sad when we are faced with certain bumps in the road for we are all humans with certain needs and desires.  Therefore, when we experience a major disruption in our own personal state of affairs, it can be extremely devastating.  But as Proverbs 15:15 points out, our mood is often determined more by our attitude than by our circumstances.  Many times, there may be nothing we can do to change our situation, but can we put forth greater effort to change our mental perception?  Admittedly, it takes experience and practice to do so, much of which young ones will not obtain until they have more longevity in life.

So, now that you have written down your list of challenges, can you add to it some things that you can do to counteract negative feelings?  If you need help, click here for some helpful tips from KidsHealth.  One of the things I like about this site is that it contains advice for parents, kids, and teens.  In the process, you may even find something of value to share with your parent, siblings, or someone else you know who is struggling just like you.

Whatever you do, always remember that you are never alone.  Regardless of what you are feeling, open up and talk with someone about it.  They may not be able to make your problems go away, but they just might be able to help you to continue facing each day one day at a time.

As always, this is from my heart to yours,

Maxine

http://www.maxinebillings.com


Leave a comment

SECRET DATING

HOLDING HANDS

In LIFE AFTER MOMMA, Kiara is caught in a dilemma. The cutest and most popular boy in the entire school wants her to be his girlfriend. Her dilemma? She’s 16, and her dad has forbade her to date until she’s 17. She has two options: (1) obey her father and tell the boy no or (2) date the boy behind her father’s back. Which should she choose? Which will she choose? If you were in her situation, which would you opt to do?

How is it that some young people get caught up in the lure of secret dating? As is the case with Kiara, some do it because they know their parents won’t approve, so they decide to just do it and not tell them. Perhaps others do it as an act of rebellion, especially if they feel that they’re not being treated like the young adults they think they are. Therefore, they make the decision to do what they want and not tell their parents. This also plays a part in Kiara disobeying her father.

Two important questions that should be asked of oneself are: Where will my actions lead? and How will what I’m doing affect God and my family? In creating humans, God blessed us with the wonderful capacity to love and accept love from others. The intimacy that a husband and wife share with one another is a beautiful thing—it is one of His most precious gifts to us. (Proverbs 5:18 & 19) Therefore, it is to be used according to His instructions. Too, we must always remember that the decisions we make in life not only affect us—they also affect our Creator and others who love us and care about us. Admittedly, it’s tough sometimes to accept and understand these things when you’re young, particularly when you’re young and in love, but as you continue growing to maturity, you’ll get there.

So now, back to Kiara. If you’d like to know where her decisions and actions lead her, please read her story in LIFE AFTER MOMMA.

From my heart to yours,

Maxine

http://www.maxinebillings.com
LAM


Leave a comment

PARENTS JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND, OR MAYBE THEY DO

Young ones, do you often feel that your parents just don’t understand you? In my first young adult novel, LIFE AFTER MOMMA, that’s exactly how Kiara feels about her dad. It’s a normal and natural thing to want to be understood–even older ones have that desire–and it can be extremely frustrating when the things that you love and feel are important just don’t seem to matter to anyone else, especially the people who gave you life and should know and understand you better than anyone else on the planet.

Parents, do you sometimes feel that your children view you as their #1 enemy? Every time you zig, they zag, and conditions at home just aren’t as peaceful as when they were younger and you still had some control over them? Instead of loosening your grip gradually, you continue to hold on for dear life because you’re afraid of all that might go wrong if you allow them even the smallest measure of freedom and independence?

Well, the next time there’s a disagreement between you, do you think it would help you to understand each other better if you took the time to sit down and talk? Not ranting, raving, yelling, and screaming but calm, respectful communication.

Parents, reflect on what it’s like to be young. And young ones, try to remember that your parents were once young, too–and maybe they do understand because they’ve been where you are now.

Maxine

http://www.maxinebillings.com